


Something In the Air is Giving Me Bad Ideas

by ifimightchime



Category: Oxventure (Web Series)
Genre: Chocolate Box Treat, Hints of real feelings, Magic Made Them Do It, Multi, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29424984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifimightchime/pseuds/ifimightchime
Summary: It's starting to look like somebody or something really, really wants the Oxventurers to sleep together.
Relationships: Corazon de Ballena | Corazon de Leon/Dob/Egbert The Careless/Merilwen/Prudence
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 6





	Something In the Air is Giving Me Bad Ideas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ijemanja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijemanja/gifts).



The first time could be written off as an accident.

"It wanted to come with me!" Prudence argued, offering absolutely no other explanation for why she'd taken the amulet. The amulet, for its part, was still glowing from where she'd eventually been convinced to put it down. Not that putting it down seemed to have done anything; all of them were still eyeing each other, the same as they had been when she was wearing it.

"You would think she'd have learned the lesson with the magic baby-watch," Dob considered out loud, and the look Prudence gave him was almost enough to counteract the amulet's effects. Only almost, though.

"I never touched the magic baby-watch," she corrected him haughtily, an impression which was surprisingly unaffected by her stripping off her shirt a second later. All eyes in the room followed the motion, glued to her newly-bared skin, and she smirked a little when she came free of the fabric and noticed. "And I don't think it's going to stop any time soon, so we might as well give it what it wants."

"We haven't really tried anything else, maybe," Merilwen began, only to be cut off by Prudence's mouth on hers and completely lose her train of thought. "Or that. We could try that," she decided as Prudence shoved her towards Corazon, quickly finding herself on board with the amulet's plan as long as it meant somebody's hands on her.

* * *

The second time could also, maybe, be an accident, or miscommunication.

For something powerful enough to pretend to be a god, it was surprisingly easy to find the right place to contact it. La Vache Mauve guided them almost without incident, and Egbert's eagerness barely dimmed when the scroll they had gotten off one of the false god's faithful turned out to be in a language he didn't understand.

"It says," Corazon started, and then stopped. "It says. Um. Prudence, what do _you_ think it says?"

Prudence raised an eyebrow before taking the scroll, at which point the other one followed. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, the holy cow--"

"La Vache Mauve!" Egbert interjected from where he'd begun examining the lavish room they'd ended up in.

"--did say it was pretending to be a _love_ god."

"Yeah, but -- do you think it's really necessary?"

"Guys, just tell us what it says," Merilwen interrupted, looking between the two of them as they exchanged a glance.

"It's a very... flowery description of what seekers of the Lady have to do to call upon her. Together," Prudence said significantly, and then even more significantly, when Merilwen continued to look at them blankly, " _together_."

Corazon helpfully held up his hands and twined his fingers together, in a gesture that didn't really represent anything, but still managed to get the bells to go off.

"Oh. Ohhh."

"Exactly!" Corazon exclaimed, and then glanced over to make sure Egbert and Dob were still preoccupied.

"So.... Does it have to be all of us?"

"No bystanders are allowed an audience," Prudence paraphrased, scanning over the scroll again. "It would have to be all of us."

"They did say she was a _false_ god. Do you think it's necessary?"

"That's what I said!"

"If it isn't, I'm not seeing any other way to contact her."

"Should we tell them?"

"Tell us what?" Egbert asked as the other two rejoined the group, apparently summoned by the question. The three of them shared a look, eyebrows raising and heads tilting, before Merilwen shrugged and turned to explain.

* * *

Three times would be harder to believe was an accident, especially when the next one was delivered directly to them.

With Bismuth on a holiday, it was Dob who answered the door, and grinned at the plant sitting there innocently. There were no messengers, birds or people, hanging around to explain, but the plant was pretty, and he picked it up and called out as he brought it inside.

"Guys! We got a present!"

"From who?" Egbert asked, the closest to the entry hall, and Dob searched for a note.

"I have no idea," he finally concluded, just as the rest of them finished trickling in to find out what the shouting was about.

"That doesn't seem good," Corazon said, moving closer to stare at the plant. "It could be a trap."

"It's a plant. I think we can handle it," Egbert offered. The others paused, considering their odds, and Dob opened his mouth to argue before Prudence cut him off.

"Well, I can see if there's anything magic about it, and Merilwen, you know plants, you can take a look."

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Merilwen, you look at it, and Prudence and I will try and figure out if its magic with our, uh, magic."

Merilwen shook her head but didn't bother to argue, nudging Corazon out of the way to get a better look. "It looks familiar," she said, frowning, "but I can't place it. I think I've--"

Nobody would be able to say for sure if it was her reaching out, stroking a fingertip carefully along one of the large leaves that hung over the base of the pot, or Prudence'd magical examination, but the plant seemed to quiver suddenly in its place. It withdrew into itself for a moment before puffing out, exploding with a mass of pollen that hit before anyone could try to avoid it. The plant fell in the sneezing, startled chaos that followed, hitting the ground with a surprisingly small crack and sending up another puff of pollen as it did.

"Is everybody okay?" Dob asked as the confusion died down, and one by one they murmured or nodded their assent, sniffling but otherwise apparently fine.

"What was _that_?"

"It's magic something," Prudence offered, "but I didn't get a good look at what kind of magic."

"Magic... pollen?" Dob asked, and she shrugged. "Does anyone feel weird or poisoned or anything like that?"

"Do you? You and Merilwen were the closest, you got the most of it," Corazon countered, and the two of them looked at each other and shrugged.

"I feel pollen," Merilwen said, wrinkling her nose, "but that's about it." She swiped at her face again, and Dob reached out to help brush it off her shoulders. Their hands brushed for only a moment, and both of them froze mid-gesture.

"Oh, wow."

"Uh-huh."

"What?" Egbert said, frowning, when neither of them seemed inclined to continue. "What is it? Did it hurt?"

"No! Not hurt, definitely not hurt." Dob backed away a step, then another, but he started to shuffle forward again immediately, slowly, as if he didn't realize he was doing it. "Just maybe some side-effects but not-- not _hurt_."

"What kind of side-effects?" Prudence asked, and glanced at Merilwen, who was tugging at the neck of her cloak, looking flushed in a way that was starting to become familiar. "Ohhh."

"What? What side-effects?" Egbert echoed, and then he brushed up against Prudence and froze as well. "Oh god, again?"

"What's _happening_?" Corazon asked, and Merilwen, finally losing the battle with her own self-control, reached out to show him.

* * *

"I think we have to consider the possibility that somebody really wants us all to sleep with each other," Egbert suggested, after, when they were sprawled as much as possible across the largest bed they could find in the house. (Corazon's, of course -- although they were all pretty sure his bed wasn't _that_ big before, but nobody was in any state to question it.) "And is putting us in situations to make that happen."

"Or," Dob offered from where he'd settled, lying across the foot of the bed, his head resting on Merilwen's calf, "the _universe_ really wants us all to sleep with each other?"

"Why would the universe care?" Prudence asked, and Dob shrugged.

"I don't know. It's a theory."

"It makes about as much sense as any _person_ wanting it," Merilwen said, contemplative and muffled by the pillow. "Unless someone we know is trying to set us up. But who would do that?"

"Bismuth? Could that be why she went off this week?"

There was quiet as they each contemplated it, until Egbert shook his head. "Why wouldn't she just say something? And how would she have done the first two?"

"All right, who do you think, then?"

"I'll take another look at the plant," Prudence interrupted, before Corazon's aggressive response could turn into an argument, settling him down with a hand gripping his shoulder. "Later. After I've had a nap."

"Do you think that might set it off again?" Merilwen asked. "Or that cleaning it up might?"

Another silence, the five of them eyeing each other, considering words and noting reactions, and then Corazon said, too casually, "Well, we'll just have to cross that bridge if we come to it."

"Yeah, we'll deal with the sex-bridge if it happens," Dob agreed, burrowing more comfortably into place, and one by one, the rest of them relaxed like that was the signal they were waiting for.

"Would you mind?" Merilwen asked Egbert quietly, when the rest of them seemed to have drifted off, curled close enough into his shoulder that only he could hear. "If it happens again?"

Egbert was quiet for a minute, enough to make her wonder if he'd fallen asleep, before he tilted back towards her enough to answer quietly. "I'd mind being messed around by a plant. But not the rest of it."

She relaxed, cuddling closer into him with a soft sigh of relief that he could feel go through her. "No. Me either," she agreed softly, and let the hope that they wouldn't be the only ones carry her into pleasant daydreams while she waited for the rest of them to wake up.


End file.
